If ever we get a problem in our relationship; and this will happen, it wont be brought by the easterly winds. It won’t be a consequence of some abiba activity from the south, nor the dry season whirlwinds of the north. It will be from your failure to gift me one of the things I hanker. A being west of our pearly lands.
I speak not of the nearest west. No. I speak of the west outside of our country’s boundaries. The outside countries. Somewhere beyond the beautiful city of Bukavu. By the way, did you know that Bukavu sits on the peninsula leading into Lake Kivu?
Now, the issue I am pointing to is a human man. Dark. Good looking to the eye. Of organic shade and stands at 6″6 tall. He sings what the natives call the rumba and has this alluring voice that is soothing to the ear of the soul.
His sound makes me think of the sweetest cocktail of acuga; the black wild berries on the edges of River Olee, the silky milk of the Mombasa coconut, and the smoothness of the Amarula blended in one cup.
I was a little sad when the Luo elders asked that the Acholi tone down on their borrowed excesses during our traditional marriage ceremonies.
That decree denied me the one excess I would have shamelessly asked from you. I was planning on asking for a Fally Ipupa show on our nino keny! I know you can afford! Oh yes you can! Let’s comply for once to what the elders demand of us.
Imagine this guy in Mucwini, my Love! Do you even know how many would want to be in the tired shoes of our parents?!
Picture my aunties and uncles dancing their crazy moves to his lingala sounds! Of course nera Zedekiah would dance off-tune and waya Abul would take her moves a notch too far for an 80 year old aunt as always, but who cares!
We would break the village record, me Amara na! No daughter of this village of ours would be talked about like me! Plus, we would have shattered the records of that acerbic-obnoxiously-supercilious girl Nyapolo from Panyok. I don’t like how she moves about like all the oxygen belongs to her!
Anyways, I say we comply to the Acholi elders. Their views must be respected. We need them. I also don’t want to bring any more animosity between you and your clansmen over your knack for tending to my every whimsical need.
I refuse to be the gossip that won’t leave the tongue of my future in laws however tempting it is. I will therefore settle for simple earthly things like a selection of Fally’s songs being played by the DJ on the day of our traditional marriage ceremony.
See this Ipupa guy, he sings in a strange tongue. He keeps saying Je t’aime, Je t’aime. Sometimes he says Elengi and I feel a wave of pleasure rising in my belly like when you have eaten a nice meal of smoked anyeri with kwon kal. The kind of satisfied feeling that makes you want to get a papyrus mat and go lie down under the shade of a mango tree. He gives me those stomach filling sensations.
When he says bolingo nangai and ma cherie I get an awkward sweet weakness in my knees, a bending-forwards-feeling like flamingo legs! My strong firm Luo knees get wobbly and funny kabisa. It sort of reminds me of the day we first touched.
When he says epousez moi, I know he is asking me a question you should be sending my way. A question that needs an answer given amidst happy shrieks and loads of tears. A question long overdue! I keep wondering when you will ask me to marry you! Haven’t we cohabited enough? Do you need a decree from the Acholi elders for that too?
When he says prison ya bolingo, I sense that I have been captured in the maximum prison of mar ojone! The kind of prison you have me in willingly. The prison of amour.
When he says Sentiment I get sentimental! When he says tomber I find myself soaring off into the clouds of his symphonies! Have you ever felt like you are flying within the lyrics of a song? Have you ever felt like you are falling and falling but not hitting the ground?
Sometimes he says loketo and I delve into a state of confusion. Isn’t loketo a man’s name? We had a musician with that name, no? I need to look this up. This loketo word. I bet Google has an idea.
The other day Fally was saying amour assassin and I felt like a washed out version of Lara Croft taking out the haters of love! I know I may be taking this out of context but isn’t that what love makes us do me Amara na? Don’t lovers sometimes take things way too literally? And sometimes beyond context?
Then when he says Je suis jaloux I feel like he means he gets jealous or something kumeno. Do you get jealous too Awobi especially when I smile back at Hassan the neighbor? Remember when I pounced on Nalweyiso because of that text I found in your phone? I was jealous. It was nyeko.
This morning Fally was saying ndoki and I was asking man dok ngo doo Fally?! What is it again Fally? I have no idea what ndoki means but it tickles my heart beautifully! The lyrics strum at the strings of my heart like the fingers of a Mucwini youth playfully touching the teeth of the lukeme harp!
In one of his songs he said na lingui ye. I don’t know that one too but it sounded sweet to my Luo ears. So I started to dance. His songs make me do that. His songs help me put aside my worries and break into random phases of dance. It’s therapeutic for me.
Don’t ask me to give him up. That will be like asking an Arsenal fan to start supporting Manchester United. That’s sacrilegious Awobi. Sacrilegious kabisa.
So I was wondering, would you be so kind as to take me to one of his shows? I mean, when this is all over, this lockdown and the real restrictions on socializing? Will you please, my love? We could go to Congo or wherever his next show will be. I would like for you and I to dance to those sensual rumba songs from this DRC man.
I promise, that when this happens, a number of our issues and my constant nagging will be scrapped off the board. Wiped. I will be at my best behavior. I will gladly kneel for your relatives when we visit the village and be less of a dramatic partner. How about that? Deal?
I swear I will. I will even pretend (……as you have always advised) to get along with your overbearing sister and not get into intermittent phases of brooding like I always do.
What do you say Cwara? Think about it me amara na. Mull over it. Rumor has it that Ladit Lobo may allow us some of our liberties soon; when all get vaccinated. So I am asking well ahead of time.
A man of your stature needs time to prepare and ponder over things fun related. And when you are done thinking, will you be so kind as to let me know? I need to plan on the outfit, nails, hair, and purse well ahead of time.
I know you said my requests are as many as the wings of a million termite allates. Like a million aming-aming. But isn’t that one of the reasons you must have a dako in your life? Isn’t that why the gods gave you a fine specimen like me for a woman, so she can from time to time ask for strange and ridiculous things?
Please do reply this missive.
Apwoyo tutwal. Thank you ahead of time.
By Laker Winfred L